Here comes the ... cold hard truth.
Spoiler alert! Kevin James is an athlete. Even before the actor starred as a teacher turned MMA fighter in "Here Comes the Boom," he was on the same high school wrestling team as future pro wrestling superstar Mick Foley, where he says he took down Foley "all the time." So how does the actor think he'd fair against UFC women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey?
"I would be on my back so fast," the actor told The Huffington Post. "No, I wouldn’t want to mess with Ronda Rousey. She would crush me. And by the way, I’ve seen her hitting mitts too, so she’s nasty. Yeah, she’s everywhere. There’s nowhere to go with Ronda."
But does James think his match would at least go longer than Rousey's 34-second knockout of Bethe Correia?
"I really don’t. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t make it out of the locker room," said the actor, "Because if I pass a hotdog cart, I make a quick hard right, and I’m not even getting in the cage."
James was recently on hand for the American Express Rally on the River, where he participated in a hydro-interactive show with tennis superstars including Maria Sharapova. And if you don't know what that means, don't worry, we don't either -- and we were there. Whatever it was though, it was pretty cool.
Besides Rousey, James also talked with us about his movies, a comeback to TV and even the possibility of "Paul Blart 3":
If you were in MMA, what would your walk out song be?
My walk out song would probably be "The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round." I think that would throw my opponent.
It’s pretty threatening.
It is threatening. It sucks you into a false sense of confidence from everybody. The crowd is going to be looking at me like I’m weird, but then when I get in there, and the wheels go round and round ...
[Laugh] Oh no ...
And my left and my right go whoosh, whoosh, whoosh -- I think everybody's in trouble.
What's your favorite joke from your movies that ended up getting cut?
If it was really funny, we’d try to fit it in, but there were some tough ones. I had to cut my kids out of "Zookeeper." That was tough.
No! Really? "Zookeeper" is my favorite movie of yours.
No, it's not.
[Laugh] It is. So can you really talk to animals?
I’ve been known -- look, it’s not confirmed, but I have talked to a few. I have a llama that I converse with on a weekly basis now. But seriously, as time goes on you can see I am the actual Dr. Dolittle.
Is there any dating advice we should take from animals?
I would say just groom. Grooming is big.
Is T.G.I. Friday's really as incredible as it looks?
It always is. You know it is. It’s amazing that Bernie the Gorilla said that, and I’m just very happy about it.
Could we see a "Zookeeper 2," or maybe even a "Paul Blart 3" on the way?
I don’t think so. Not right now. I’m interested in doing original stuff.
Have you ever had any talks about a "King of Queens" reunion?
I don’t think there has been any talks about it, but I would always -- I mean, I loved working with them, Jerry [Stiller] and Leah [Remini] were fantastic, and we’re working on trying to get back into TV now as a matter of fact and would love to get a show going, and I would love to work with them again.
There are people online who would like to see you in "True Detective." Who would be your partner on that show?
Do I have to have a partner, or can I do it myself?
Sure, if you want to do it yourself.
Yeah, I think I’m going solo. Only because I like to talk to myself a lot. You know what, it’s going to be a shorter shooting day because you don’t have to reset the cameras. You just roll on me, and I take it from one angle, and then I speak to myself in the other angle.
Will Smith gave your character dating advice in "Hitch." Did he ever give you any advice?
He took me under his wing. I had never done a movie before, so that was my first movie, and he showed me the ropes with a lot of stuff and was a fantastic friend and a mentor. I was so happy he gave me that opportunity.
So how'd you get involved in the American Express Rally on the River?
I think American Express ha been in my life for a very long time. I think I might’ve been tardy on a couple bills, and maybe this is how I pay them off.
That's so awesome.
Naw, they’re great, but just it’s exciting to be here. Any athlete. Anybody that can do stuff I can’t do, I’m a huge fan of.
Nice recovery, Peanut Blart and Jelly.
This interview has been condensed and edited.
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